


it’s a strange sensation, dying

by AceofWands



Series: Avengers Trek Anthology [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Avengers Trek AU, Can be read standalone, Crossover, Gen, Star Trek Context Notes Provided, Trills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 22:36:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17610320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceofWands/pseuds/AceofWands
Summary: The last thing Howard Stark was going to see was Bucky Barnes' face looming over him. There were worse ways to go.





	it’s a strange sensation, dying

**Author's Note:**

> Finally uploading a fic series that has been on my harddrive since 2014. This fic was written pre-AOU.
> 
> Avengers/Star Trek crossover that reimagines the Marvel characters as part of the classic Star Trek universe.
> 
> Title from the DS9 episode "Afterimage", from Ezri Dax's line: "It's a strange sensation, dying. No matter how many times it happens to you, you never get used to it."
> 
> Set in 2284.
> 
> Star Trek context notes:  
> Joined Trill are primarily featured in Deep Space Nine in the characters of Jadzia Dax and Ezri Dax. They are a species made up of a humanoid host (with spots running down either side of their body) and a large worm-like symbiont that holds all the memories and personalities of previous hosts, which they share with the current host to become a new person.

 

The last thing Howard Stark was going to see was Bucky Barnes' face looming over him. There were worse ways to go.

“Save … Stark!” he gasped, already feeling himself beginning to slip into unconsciousness.

“Yeah, yeah, don't worry, we'll save you,” Bucky hastily reassured him. He glanced away wildly, “Where the hell is that medical team?”

“No!” Howard yelled, a surge of adrenaline giving him one last, final burst of strength. Barnes needed to understand. It was imperative that Howard made him understand. “Save Stark!” he insisted, grabbing at Bucky's hand desperately and yanking it onto his abdomen, where Stark was already beginning to roil beneath his skin as Howard's systems began to stop functioning.

Bucky's eyes widened and he opened his mouth, but Howard didn't have time for explanations.

“Tell the Doc … they need to cut it out – Stark – my symbiont – cut it out and put it into stasis and get it to Trill as fast as you can. Tell them you're coming, tell them you're bringing Stark.”

“Wha-” Bucky murmured, looking absolutely stunned.

“Promise me Bucky! Promise me you'll get Stark to Trill!” Howard yelled, squeezing Bucky's hand to him as tightly as he could.

For a moment that felt like an eternity Bucky stared down at Howard, mouth open. Then his expression grew serious and he nodded, once.

“I promise.”

Howard slumped back, relieved. “Good,” he murmured. Despite everything they'd been through these last few years, he knew he could trust Barnes to do this for him.

He felt his vision beginning to grey, “I'm sorry … that I couldn't find him,” he said softly. He hoped those weren't tears in Barnes' eyes, he couldn't quite tell any more – if they were he'd have to make sure his next host found him just to give him shit about it.

Bucky squeezed his shoulder, “Wasn't up to you,” he replied, just as softly.

Howard felt something loosen in his chest at that, though he couldn't tell whether it was guilt or just his body giving up on him.

“Hey Barnes?” he said, eyelids fluttering.

“Yeah?”

“Ask them for a woman.”

“Wait – a woman? What woman? Dammit Stark!”

It took the last of Howard's strength to muster up one last smile.

Definitely worse ways to go.

~

At the sight of Bucky Barnes standing in the nondescript Symbiosis Commission corridor, staring out the window, Maria finally understood what it meant to be Joined.

Maria Tidaran had never met this man before. If she'd passed him in a corridor she wouldn't have even given him a second glance. Now, however … now she looked at him and could recall details about him that, in some cases, he'd probably prefer she didn't know. She knew who his family was. Knew his habits. His pet peeves. His favourite food. She knew what made him tick.

Maria Stark looked at him and thought _friend_.

Which made it all the more difficult when he glanced away from the window and spotted her standing there – but there was no spark of recognition in his eyes, no friendly greeting – or, wait, she was Stark now, a sarcastic comment would have been far more appropriate.

“Barnes,” she greeted him automatically, then hastily corrected herself – she was Maria now, not Howard. “I mean, Commander Barnes.”

“Is it okay?” he asked, brow furrowing, seemingly not noticing her slip. “Did we make it in time? Did they find the woman?”

Ah, he thought she was one of the doctors, sent to check on him. An understandable assumption.

She smiled reassuringly, clasping her hands in front of her. “They did. Everything is okay.”

He let out a deep sigh of relief, “Oh good. I'm so glad.” He stretched slightly, and Maria watched as the tension ebbed out of his shoulders. He must have been really worried – she was touched.

“Thanks for letting me know,” he said, scrubbing a hand over his face and giving her a smile.

Maria's smile widened, but she remained where she was.

Bucky faltered at this, looking confused. “Sorry, was there something else you needed me to do?”

Maria fidgeted slightly, doubting herself already. She hadn't really been thinking, when she'd snuck out of her room to come and see Bucky. The doctors had told her to rest, to give herself time to adjust. But Stark's last memories had been so vivid in her mind, its desire to come out here and find Bucky and thank him so great, that she'd found herself slipping out of her room without a second thought.

Was that the sort of person she was now? One who didn't stay put when doctors told her to? She supposed she was going to find out.

“Yes, well, I mean, no, there's nothing anyone else needs from you, you're free to go,” she explained, “But before you do, I, uh …”

Bucky's confused frown deepened as she trailed off, nerves getting the better of her in the face of this complete stranger she was rambling to. Except no, he wasn't a stranger at all, Stark reminded her. Maria sucked in a steadying breath.

“I came to thank you. For saving my life.”

Bucky blinked at this, startled.

“I owe you,” Maria said, voice cracking slightly, “A debt that is … not easily repaid. And one that I do not make lightly.”

Bucky took a moment to take this in, then his eyes widened in comprehension. “Wait … Stark?” he asked, recoiling a step back, before surging closer a second later to hunch down and look her in the eyes.

Maria met his gaze calmly, trying not to fidget.

Then she glanced around the corridor, mindful of where they were, and that Bucky was an outsider. The only reason he'd even been allowed in here, she was told, was because he refused to do anything less than hand deliver Stark to the doctors personally – and that obviously meant he was at least aware of the symbiont's existence, so they were hard-pressed to keep him out on those grounds.

She moved closer, aware that she was about to break a rule some Trill regarded very highly. Then she held out her hand in the Human gesture, feeling a thrill of pride as she confirmed her identity, “I am Maria Stark. It is a pleasure to meet you as my new host, Bucky.”

“New … host,” Bucky murmured, eyeing her with curiosity, but still shaking her hand. “So Stark is …”

Maria gently placed his hand on her abdomen, where Stark was still getting settled. “Safe and sound. Thanks to you.”

“Huh,” Bucky said, tentatively pressing against her abdomen before politely pulling away. “So all of the Trill have these … symbionts, inside them?”

Maria quickly shook her head, “No, there aren't enough for the entire population. The Joined are carefully chosen – candidates undergo rigorous training to ensure we're suitable.”

“But the rest of your people know about them?” Bucky asked. Maria nodded. “But I take it, the Federation doesn't,” he said, wryly.

She flushed slightly, “A decision was made to keep knowledge of the symbionts a secret, unless absolutely necessary.”

Bucky snorted, “Like when one of your hosts start dying.”

“Quite,” Maria agreed, feeling slightly embarrassed. She had never understood the necessity for such secrecy – but it wasn't her place to do anything more about it than she was doing now.

Bucky nodded slowly, “So the whole time Howard and I knew each other …”

“He was Joined,” Maria confirmed.

Bucky studied her shrewdly for a moment, “And you remember all of that – or, well, I mean, Stark does.”

“Once we've been joined, the host and symbiont's brain patterns become one. Including memories,” Maria explained. “So yes, I remember everything during the time that I- that Stark lived as Howard.”

Bucky thought about this for a moment. “I'm glad,” he said eventually, “He was an amazing man, he deserves to be remembered.”

At this Maria's eyebrows went up, and before she could even think about what she was saying, had said, “Well, I'll have to start dying more often – first tears, now a fond eulogy. I didn't think you had it in you Barnes.”

Bucky looked absolutely stunned for a moment.

Then Maria gasped and clasped a hand over her mouth, “I'm sorry! I'm still … the integration process takes a couple of months. I'm afraid I haven't quite … adjusted yet.”

But to her immense relief, Bucky began to laugh. After he'd petered off into chuckles, he looked at her, eyes crinkling at the corners, and grinned. “You really are Stark, aren't you?”

“Perhaps a little too much so, at the moment,” Maria said, grinning back.

He clasped her on the shoulder, “Well take your time, sorting yourself out. You know where to find me, if you ever need anything.”

Maria placed a hand over his and squeezed. “I won't forget. Take care of yourself Bucky.”

“I will,” he assured her, smiling wryly.

Then they heard hurried footsteps coming up the corridor, and a pair of doctors burst around the corner. “There you are Maria. You're supposed to be resting,” one of them scolded her.

Maria let herself be escorted away, but not before pulling a face at Bucky who just laughed.

“I'll see you around Stark!” he called out

“Not if I see you first Barnes!” she called back.

**Author's Note:**

> If you also love both Marvel and Star Trek and want to chat about them, you can find me on [tumblr](http://aceofwands.tumblr.com/) :)
> 
> If anyone else wants to play in this sandbox you have my blanket permission - just credit this series/fic for inspiration please :)


End file.
